I got into a confrontation with "dear abby" at a dive bar last night and twisted a miller highlife bottle in her face for a couple of 360's. While she is recovering in intensive care, i have been ordered by a judge to fill in on her "dear abby" column. Please feel free to ask any questions about life, foosball, foosers, etc... and i will do my best to answer.

Last time i almost killed abby, baller asked the first question, which i believe was-

"Dear Boogie, why are the carp so damn huge at lakeside lake?"

I cant remember my whole answer, but i remember that i informed baller that since 1978, their diet consisted of popcorn, miller beer bottles, and young hispanic children not being watched by their parents. Then i think i reminded him that bathing with one of those carps by candlelight is considered beastiality and is punishable by a court of law in the state of colorado.

Questions will be answered in the order they are received.

Begin.

Edited by user Wednesday, November 27, 2013 2:44:44 AM(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

Dear 777,

Your post is so gay that God spoke to me and requested you change your screen name to "queen rainblow".

Now, even though your 2 bar is about as gay as the rest of the post, i will attempt to at least answer why it sucks so bad.

First off, its a confidence issue. If the opposing forward sneezes while you are setting up your 2 bar shot, you flinch. Remember that time (a couple of months ago) when Ross told you your shot was ABOUT to suck..? And what did you do? You self dumped it, and said "ok" all pouty and shit. Man up, use your full power, and get a slider dink out of there at least.

Another time, (when you shot off the 2 bar)- that piece of shit irritating fly (that lived in bc's through the cold weather)landed on the ball- and actually walked on the ball after it was shot like some fucking lumberjack on a tree in the lake. You lack power. When Baller hits his 2 bar shot (if there is a fly on the ball) all that is left after it the shadow of the fly- (where its body vaporized from a foosball that looked like it was in entering the earths atmoshere at 17,000 mph.) Your fly WALKS the ball out of the goalie area. Pathetic.

Advice: Give Baller a lotion arm rub. Ask him if you can have front row seats to watch him in the pits. Dont cry when he shoots. Quit playing goal. If you draw a forward less skilled than Robbie at the turkey draw, fake a seizure and drop out, paying your draw partner half of first place money.

Sincerely,

Boogie

Dear boogz, Will we ever have new promasters? Whos inline to turn master? Does anyone wanna turn master these days??? Who has the best chance to knock off the top dawgs?????(besides me and you of course and maybe ross if hes drunk and falls in a pot hole. Lol

Dear Boogie.........

What would be an effective recall procedure for those who thinks the sun rises and sets in their ass?

Dear Boogie,

Who is that Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy of company B that has your first name?


here is a siting

Then in the 70's he got all funky.

got to keep on dancing, keep on dancing.

Boogie man

Two times the Boogie man!

Boogie woogie wu

Dear Abby,

When I see that JediROTN posts, why does Miley Cyrus's "Wrecking Ball" song start playing in my head?

C'yall tonight!

NLRK

Dear Boogie Landers........

1 Tournament with borrowed name + Jedi Hate + social click, has more value then 10+ years of dominance in the Northern Boundries?

How can this have any objective leg to stand on?

This thread sucks!

Agreed this thread sucks!

Dear Amy,
Why does this thread suck?


ConcernedTrashy

I approve of this thread, but in general every thread except a few rare ones are absolutely as like a B rated sitcom, or movie. You hear the words then the lips move, or is it the other way around? But this thread as most would say "sucks" because most dont know how to ask legitimate questions to the Great beloved Boo.
So in turn the dear Boogie then gives those that suck a blow off answer..

Say Dear beloved Boogie..I actually have many question's, and because I know you are very busy having to reply back to all your fan posts. But ill just keep my question's to just a few.

Q1). Why is it that foosball is the leading cause of the disease known as A.M.D.S. ( Adult Mind Deficiency Syndrome) Now ive been informed by the so called best doctors known in this field of "mind deficiency, that this A.M.D.S.disease is not curable. But these doctors are very young, and look as though they just got out of grade school, ok" I'll give them some credit and say high school, but thats as far as ill go.

Now here is the breakdown of what this foosball disease has been known to do to the adult mind. This disease cause's the adult mind to degress backwards into a child mind of silly and meaningless speech that has no legitimate reasoning to them. Now it has been discovered, that It comes from some common virus that is transferred and transmitted by hand to hand by those that have already been infected by this nasty foos virus. My main question narrow's down to this next statement.

Is there any way of quarantining these infectious players from the table untill this nasty disease is under control by the C.O.K.D. ( Center Of Known Diseases ) and could there be a cure anytime soon?


Q2) why is it that the last forum and this forum doesn't have a draft option to it So that I can type alittle and then leave to go do something more productive. And then re-enter the forum, bring up my draft page and continue my post. I always have to post in one sitting. NOW THAT SUCKS AND BLOWS A GAY FART IMO.


Q3. Why is it that a fiveman shot is considered hack? Or that a shot that goes off a goalie man considered a sloppy shot ? Isn't defense a part of the game that has to be able to block anything and everything thrown at it.?
Sorry Dear Boogie, that was three questions in one..

Well thats it for questions from the jedi.
Again I know your busy with fan posts and everything, so no need to hurry on your wise and sound answers.

Till next time I need your supreme wisdom.

Your #1 fan
jediR.O.T.N.

Edited by user Monday, December 2, 2013 6:54:45 AM(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified